This is a reminder that the external care does not equate or replace internal care.
Recently, I had one of the most difficult weeks I had ever experienced. Filled with deadlines, skipping meals just to hustle forward, lack of sleep, unconscious jaw clenching, and isolation. The extent of my unwinding included a glass of wine and conversations with my boyfriend about how I felt I was whirling. It subsided my anxiety a bit but it didn’t dispel it.
Once the weekend came I found some spark of joy in a new eye shadow palette, treated myself to a fancy non dairy cappuccino, painted my nails because I had some social plans lined up. Because, as I said to myself, “I deserve it.”
There was also brushing off the stressful build up from the week and continuing to move forward. We like to believe that we can out of sight, out of mind. Then the thoughts may creep up of you might find yourself over analyzing a situation, anticipation an outcome, etc.
REAL TALK >> not all my days are ideal. Some days I ignore my alarm clock or wake up straight up grumpy. Some days I am so tired when I get home I cave in to napping and get completely wired at night. No one is perfect so I get to learn from those off days. I think about how I can improve my habits and adapt better patterns. It’s all about goal setting.
Today I’m sharing February’s dreams & goals. When you think of February I am sure most people’s mind lingers toward love, hearts scattered everywhere, and the beautiful shade of crimson red. personally I’m working on inviting a lot of self love and sharing the love this month. I’m looking forward to a chocolate exchange on Galentine’s day, surprising my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day weekend, but also for myself. I want hone in on self love and it’s usually one night I have to destress and recharge. celebrating myself and just giving myself that encouragement and kindness we all need.
I am one of those people who will always look at a new year as a clean state. Truthfully it channels the possibility of renewal, the path to forgiveness and growth.
In my possession is a new journal. One that is significantly for my hopes, dreams, to reconnect with my self + heart. One that channels my passion and creativity. The goal of this journal I to document my healing and let that growth evolve.
Inky blue with constellations etched throughout the cover. I think it’s fitting given how airy I can be. The purpose is also to ground because it’s my move to fill and reflect the pages with introspection and resolutions.
Here’s what I know: if you have a rough day it’s absolutely acceptable to nap and let your body + mind unwind. It may even be necessary to indulge in a warm night time shower to come out renew. There’s nothing wrong with warming up a bowl of oatmeal that’s sweetened with dried berries and cinnamon. Each spoonful enveloping you with it’s warmth, nourishing you with flavor, even at midnight when you finally have some peace to yourself.
I’m learning that I need to continuously come clean with myself. To confront myself and not hide away. I’m learning that it’s okay to pick up the pieces of yourself that hurt. This is how you develop strength. Release each breath, deep and cathartic as it may be. Allow yourself to feel because believe me your body longs to let everything out. This is how I revive myself through a difficult time.
It’s the end of November and I have no idea where the time has gone. Tomorrow we welcome in December and soon we welcome winter. Say goodbye to pumpkin spice everything and bring on the peppermint vibes. feel free to share any plans y’all got for winter because I need to get a start on that as well. This November (and most of this Fall) was spent doing all the fall things and I am really glad for all the experiences.
I have a lot of positive thoughts and reflections for this November. November gave me the chance to go inward and experience that growth period. The weather dropped and we even got rain, although I really dislike driving in that weather. But the coziness of experiencing a autumnal month led me to have plenty of time for reflection. There is also a sense of self confidence to state: I need this time for myself.