Lately I realized I have been experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Then I realized that this is nothing new because I have been living with Imposter Syndrome for years now. If you wondering what the heck I’m talking out, here’s a little TLDR;
“Impostor Syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary.” (Scientific American)
I dabble in various art forms: painting, photography, styling, and drawing. While some have fallen off throughout the years, others have recently flourished. From an early age I drew consistently like clockwork, I never took lessons but I was always considered a great artist, but I never really believed that I was. I just thought I was a good artist because other people were validating me and telling me. For a few years now I haven’t really painted and there’s several factors for that:
I felt I was not growing as an artist
I doubted myself when others weren’t validating me
I wasn’t impressing myself with my artwork/living up to a standard
Now that we’re entering a new year, it’s time for a word to carry into the new year. .
What I selected: Spirited. There are times I can get shy, quiet, or evade from my potential or allowing my true self to shine. In 2019 I want to have faith and courage in myself. I always want to empower others but first I have to begin with myself.
One of my favorite moments this month was dancing to Ariana’s Thank U, Next but truly feeling it* , sure a little white wine helped but I liberated from any growing pains of the year, and over all I was grateful that circumstances (good & bad) that happened – did because I’m genuinely happy where I am and the best is yet to come. It’s that energy I wish to carry onto the next year.
When we think of the holiday season we conjure up expectations of community, gatherings, and celebration. Some of us decorate our homes and settings. We search for warmth and embark on the hustle. The to-do list of traditions (meals to prepare, plans within family and/or friends, dates to fill in) merges with our everyday life (work, academia, home life, personal responsibilities). All of this is almost expected. Once fall comes in we know that the excitement of the holiday season will spring upon us and fill us with anticipation.
However, I’m writing this to advocate for those who may not have the smoothest time during the season. This can be for many reasons. Not all of us have a strong family unit, some of us get overwhelmed by the idea of an “ideal holiday” and having to “do it all”, some of us experience emotional triggers that we keep to ourselves. Because we choose to hide them or we don’t want to disrupt anyone’s joy. There are many reasons why the holiday stress can bubble even if we don’t project it for others to know.